Hey it’s Monday morning, who wants a cigarette? I do, I do! The next couple of weeks, we have a lot of parties and radio stations and TV shows to go to before our tour. Instead the usual poem and/or scrimshaw representation of the upcoming events, here is a handy dandy list.

Thursday 14 – Late Night with Conan O’Brien 12:35 (NBC)
Friday 15 – KROCK 2:30pm
Friday 15 – Housing Works Benefit, NYC 8p (Acoustic)
Friday 15 – Party @ The Plaid, NYC 10:30p (Acoustic)
Saturday 16 – WFNX 3pm
Saturday 16 – Party @ The Pill, Boston 9:30p (Acoustic)
Tuesday 19 – Party @ Revival, Toronto (Acoustic)
Thursday 21 – Party @ Popscene, SF 11p (Acoustic)
Friday 22 – KCRW 1p (Acoustic, broadcast at a later date)
Friday 22 – AOL Sessions (Broadcast in September)
Saturday 23 – Party @ Club Bang!, LA 11p (Brief Acoustic)
*Sunday 24 – Sunset Junction Festival, LA (8:30ish)

And then, it’s the tour, which is outlined on the SHOWS page. Yep.

Public Service Announcement

Hey, we should have done this before we set out on the touring season, but hey, what can you do. We wanted to let everyone know that owing to our near three hour onstage sets, we are no longer touring with support acts. So, kids, when your ticket says “An Evening with the Dandy Warhols” and starts at 9pm, you had better get there at that time an expect to rock. That is all.

xo

Hey, we’ve had a change of plans in regards to our little party up in Vancouver on the 29th. Formerly, we were going to play at the Commodore Ballroom, but then we got to thinking, what if we played an entire show in a hot air balloon!! Dig it! Flying too high with some band in the sky! “But oh! Oh”, they said, with that that scornful gaze beset upon our lofty proposal. “No traders in this rock-and-roll haberdashery shall pollute our pristine heavens! Not on your life, buster!” With downcast eyes, we wept., our dreams a pile of ash dusting our feet.

So, instead of that, we have decided to play for some kicks with REM and Wilco at Thunderbird Stadium that night.

Hey, the date that we are going to be on Late Night with Conan O’Brien has been moved up, from August 15th to August 14th, so set your alarm for that. Also, on the 15th, we will be playing an abreviated acoustic set at Housing Works Used Book Cafe. This show will be a benifit for homeless persons living with HIV and AIDS.

Once again, we must let you know our single for “You Were The Last High” is out and for sale in the usual locations. If you are having trouble finding usual locations, try buying the single HERE.

This message is for the Australians in the audience. Hey. It doesn’t take a genius to figure it out. You kids love us. When those two shows in Sydney and Melbourne sold out so fast, you were crushed. Gothman got so much email from you guys that he had to put down his cigarette to brush away the tears of exhaustion. Anyway, we would have loved to have played more shows down under, but we couldn’t. Our schedule is just too screwy. But rest assured, we will return for something “Big” at the beginning of the year. (“Big”? Get it?)

But, if you can’t wait that long, we have two pair of tickets to give away. One pair for Sydney, July 31 at Metro, and one for Melbourne, August 3 at Hi Fi. The catch? The winners, get this, draw or Photoshop their best rendition of The Dandy Warhols getting saved from certain death by either a crazed dingo, a evil giant bong, or George Lucas. It’s your choice, so have fun with it. When you’re done, send your entries to certain_death@dandywarhols.com. The winners will be chosen by Gothman and some of his cronies. Get crackin’, Picasso!

We have added four supplemental European gigs to our schedule this fall, sans the great Mr. Bowie. On October 14th, we will play at Tilburg 013 in Holland, the 25th the Rocking Chair in Vevey, Switzerland, November 18th at the University in Liverpool, and finally the 25th at the Ambassador in Dublin. Check back in SHOWS for ticket information in the coming weeks.

Management wants the website to “hype” the album more, so.“Woooo!! Go buy our record!” Oh wait; it’s not out yet in the US, is it? I told them, “Theeeeey don’t need remindin’! They’re a clever bunch, them. I once saw them build an entire Trojan Horse out of spent matchsticks and a bucket of chum.” But just in case you plan to get alcohol-induced amnesia, our record Welcome To The Monkey House will be out August 19th in the US. If you don’t live in the US, first, congratulations, and second, buy another copy of the record for the den.

If I Had Known It Was The Last High, I Would Have Payed More Attention

Hey, our next single, “You Were The Last High” will be released for worldwide human consumption this coming Monday (July 28). As is the custom, there will be a two disc CD single. Yeah. The first one features”Last High”, followed a remix of “We Used To Be Friends” by Brian Coates and Clark Stiles, and finally, Tony Lash’s remix of “Every Day Should Be A Holiday”, which is like the perfect song for a debaucherous summer. (Is “debaucherous” even a word?) The second disc of the set has yet another version of “We Used To Be Friends”, followed by “Jim”, a song we found in a box in our closet, and a special live version of “Good Morning” recorded at the legendary KCRW studios. If you rue the day that CDs were invented, you may wish to pick up the limited edition 7″ single, which features”Last High” and one more version of “We Used To Be Friends”, this one a remix by Kenn Richards. Whew! God damn, that’s a lot of music for a single.

Man, I hate it when a show is sold out because some Fred Durst looking motherfucker and a gang of his fag-bashing, baggy pants and backwards baseball cap wearing cronies, who have no life to live, get in line in front of you at Tower or GI Joes or wherever and buy up all the god damned tickets for a show you’re desperate to see. These are the guys who have only heard ‘Junkie’ once, and constantly scream for Zia to take off her top. Well, hey, this time, we want to make sure the gigs are packed with cool people. That’s why we’re making tickets to our US tour available online to Warhols fans before they go on sale anywhere else. Tickets go on sale Friday, July 18th at Noon Eastern/9am Pacific. See SHOWS for the dates. Nice one.

There are a lot of things going on right now, so you may want to get a pen. First things first, have you seen our new barbecue? It’s out of control.

On July 21, we will be in Koln (Cologne) for a special performance on Radio Eins. That should be pretty cool; we’ve met a lot of amazing people this year in Germany. On the 24th, we will be on XFM in London for a special live happening. After that, we’re flying all the way to Oz, for some special performances there, as “You Were The Last High” is released on the 28th. The 30th, we’re going to be on Sydney’s Triple J for a special performance, followed by a gig at theMetro on the 31st, on Channel V on August 1st, Melbourne’s Hi Fi on the 3rd, acoustic performances on Nova 100 and Triple M on the 4th, and The Panel TV show in Sydney on the 6th.

Gulp.

Then we get to go home and get ready for our US tour. Conan O’Brien on the 15th, some radio shows here and there before we open the tour in L.A. at the Sunset Junction Street Fair on August 24. Confirmed dates are listed at SHOWS, if you have the time to wt for the page to load.

Oh, and remember, our new record Welcome To The Monkey House is released in the US on August 19th. And for those of you who ask if the US release is different than the International release? We would have to say ‘oh yes’.

Courtney says: “What happened to the hot pics you all took of us while we were in Europe? You were supposed to send them to Gothman. Come on.”