Jack Reacher

(2012)

As far as action movies go he’s not exactly at the top of his class but still a Jack Reacheround is always good fun for boys.

Flight

(2012)

Super stupid.

Life of Pi

(2012)

Sitting through the first half hour’s worth of Wes Anderson film cliches and real precious acting made ME feel like the fugging caged tiger BUT FEAR NOT cuz once this thing settles into itself it actually lives up to the vomitbagful of hype it’s gotten.

Batman Begins

(2005)

I didn’t remember it being this bad.

Django Unchained

(2012)

So much violent fun-fun I almost needed a nap in the middle.

(2012)

Shit is tight.

Moonlight Kingdom

(2012)

When this movie was over it took about a minute and twenty seconds for me to start it again.

The Master

(2012)

It’s like the value pack of artistic credibility: you pay for just over two hours but you feel like you got about four.

Sex & Drugs & Rock & Roll

(2010)

Mostly miserable.

Karate Kid

(2010)

Hottest choreography I’ve seen since I saw Book of Mormon.

X-Men First Class

(2011)

I really love these movies but damned those writers have a klunky bitch of a time trying to rationalize out all the goofy names and costumes.

Heckler

(2007)

This is a great film and I think we can all agree that as a whole comedians are the coolest people in the world but if they read their own press they’re an idiot.