Jodorowsky’s Dune

(2013)

We’re supposed to come away wishing he had been allowed to make DUNE but if you’ve seen El Topo and Holy Mountain then you know that for all his stunning visuals he still had the narrative skills of a drunk cokehead.

Godzilla

(2014)

They had a great thing goin until some dumbass decided to make it about kids losing their parents and thus insuring that it sucks.

Noah

(2014)

They got the look of the film right but then the movie is just one thing after another that they got wrong.

Escape from New York

(1981)

If this isn’t in your top twenty then you’re my mom.

The Empire Strikes Back

(1980)

I didn’t hate the Empire nearly as much for blowing up Alderaan as I did for making this movie leave the ice planet Hoth.

Men at Lunch

(2012)

A good idea charming enough and not a huge time commitment.

The Grand Budabest Hotel

(2014)

When yer really really good and yer really really successful you get to carry your friends who have maybe fallen over the years but that’s okay cuz like I said when yer really really good…

August: Osage County

(2013)

Why.

American Hustle

(2013)

Almost completely amazing.

Inside Llewyn Davis (2013) 

(2013)

Aptly reviewed by my friend who told me to ignore the first scene then hold onto my hat.

In A World…

(2013)

So good I’ve been trying for like three weeks and can’t find a sentence pithy enough so there that’s my pithy enough sentence. *(Pithy twice in one sentence copyright 2014 Courtney Taylor-Taylor.)

A Farewell To Arms

(1932)

The opening camera move tells you that you’re in for like two hours of spectacular filmmaking.