Unhappy
Congratulations Portland! We finally won the honor of Unhappiest City in The US. Thanks to all the cloudy days, high suicide rates and shite economy we win! Now maybe all those developers and business folks will think twice before adding another ‘Pearl’ to Portland. Leave us be, leave us to our rain and grief, our coffee and cigarettes, our dark arts. Oh wait, is that it? Did we get even sadder now that we have to smoke outside in the rain? Is that what finally got us crowned as The Saddest? Sadder than New Orleans, St. Louis and Detroit? Well so be it.
ZIA MCCABE