Shutter Island

(2010)

Sorry, can’t do the dead kids thing cuz it makes me wanna scream “fuck you, you sick fucks” at everyone involved in this project.

The Jazz Singer

(1927)

Holy shit, Al Jolson looks exactly like Steve Martin!

Tremors

(1990)

They’re trying to be real wacky and zany here but after about fifteen minutes I just couldn’t tolerate how much it sucked.

Point Blank

(1967)

This movie is so totally fuggin cool that I didnt really mind the little bit of bad acting and editing which included some real ham-fisting by Star Trek’s very own Dr Roger Corby whose name it took me going to sleep and waking up to fully recall without any help from imdb.

The Imaginarium of Doctor Parnassus

(2009)

Being quite familiar with Gilliam’s progression I feel I can safely say that this visual extravaganza was not made one iota more confusing by the untimely passing of that wonderful Heath Ledger than it otherwise wouldve been.

I Love You Man

(2009)

Did a good job of making me real uncomfortable for an hour and forty-four minutes and I did laugh but only until they’d bring in the toothless indie acoustic rock songs for the Starbucks thirty-something viewers and that, of course, would totally kill my buzz.

Forgetting Sarah Marshall

(2008)

Don’t let the lame-ass “Something-ing Someone” title fool you, this flick is only about twelve lines shy of being the perfect gutbusting break up comedy of all time.

Spellbound

(1945)

This film is awesome, and as per usual with this era, it starts out slow and clunky, but as per usual with Hitchcock, once it gets going it REALLY gets going.

Chitty Chitty Bang Bang

(1968)

Ian Fleming, Albert Broccoli, Roald Dahl, c’mon, there is no doubt in my mind that this is the most perfect example in its genre but just wait til the version comes out where I edit away the two songs that just don’t live up.

The 5000 Fingers of Dr. T.

(1953)

I guess I can see why Dr. Seuss hated the way this turned out but still it is a must-see and don’t forget to look for things that ended up in The Simpsons.

Fantastic Mr. Fox

(2009)

Oh okay, he really IS the fantastic Mr. Clooney.