Il Divo

(2008)

It’s like “Snatch”and “Being There” meets “A Man For All Seasons” and boy is it ever smart as hell.

Avatar

(2009)

Not only fugging amazing but this is also the most important movie you could possibly make right now.

Gran Torino

(2008)

I just loved this movie and Clint is amazing but then again I’d be grumpy too if I was surrounded by such bad actors all the time.

The Other Boleyn Girl

(2008)

Ham-fisted made-for-tv production makes this not only unwatchable but also makes these sometimes great actors seem like ten year olds who just got handed their first script.

Get Smart

(2008)

How so many funny gags can equal such a tedious movie is something I hope I never actually find out.

Payback

(1999)

If you’re really in the mood for this kind of thing let me reassure you its one of the dumbest.

The Petrified Forest

(1936)

Holy shizz Gothman was right, this movie is legendary ridiculous powerful genius unforgettable embarrassing can you believe Humphrey Bogart with Leslie Howard and Bette Davis in a sexy dude version of that Edward G. Robinson film Key Largo.

Mata Hari

(1931)

Garbo is quite cool but its still just a goofy little ride featuring the goofiest dance number in the history of film, the poor dear.

How Green Was My Valley

(1941)

I love the Welsh, John Ford, Maureen O’Hara and Roddy Mcdowell but this is still a gruelling two hour bout with near suicidal depression any way you slice it.

Idiocracy

(2006)

After recently touring the midwest I couldn’t help but think that everyone who came to our shows must feel like Luke Wilson in this movie at least a little bit every day except without the hijinks and hilarity..

Mondovino

(2004)

It is either interviews with only awful people or only interviews making people look like awful people.

Echelon Conspiracy

(2009)

Goofy, goofy and goofy.

Terminator Salvation

(2009)

Not a terrible way to spend the afternoon but  the hammiest of ham writing with super mega action budget signified the end of the terminator series for me.

The Lion in Winter

(1968)

The overwritten modern dialogue can’t stop the sheer genius of this overwritten modern dialogue set in the court of Henry II and Elanor of Aquitania.

Let The Right One In (DUBBED)

(2008)

Easily one of the coolest movies I’ve ever seen (even though the translation and dubbing sounded like it was done by some first year Romanian ESL students in the Netflix version I saw).